I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
