Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
