I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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