i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
