ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
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Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
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She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo