Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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