i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize