If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
