she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
