Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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