Sponge bath it is.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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