I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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