Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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