My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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