im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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