OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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