are you still at the devil's house?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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