dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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