oh god the rape fog is back!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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