it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize