I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
