I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
