Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
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This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
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He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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