it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
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Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
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We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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