Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
