he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im holly from the hills drunk
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize