We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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