Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked