Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My cat gives me a boner
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.