So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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