4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
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Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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