i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize