I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
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Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented