This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.