We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.