Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups