She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes