I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone