all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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