I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
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apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
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It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.