I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
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My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
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It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants