It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants