Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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