the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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