No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
FUCK WHALES
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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