Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
