dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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