last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
