He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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