He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize