plz talk dirty to me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize