Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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