so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
