Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.