You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila