you guys were way drunker than both of me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch