so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
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Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
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I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?