Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
