Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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