I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize