Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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